Hope Through Heartbreak

IMG_9899Proverbs 16:9

“Man choses His path but God directs His footsteps.”

 

Every young man and woman strives to find their purpose. Once you figure out what you want to do, ambition sets in. When I was 15, a man prophesied over me that I was going to be an honorable man, a Pastor, a great Husband and a great Father. I have thought about that prophecy almost every day of my life. For 8 years I have chased after a few things: Bible College, a Church Job and a Wife. Over the last 3 years I made it to Bible College, received a full time Church position as a Worship Leader and I was engaged to be married. I thought I had it all figured out. All three of these things became idols in my heart. I Idolized my Calling, my Ministry and I idolized my relationship. When I received all of these things, I quit fully seeking the Lord. A.W Tozer once said that, “We have been snared in the coils of spurious logic which insists that if we have found Him, we need no more to seek Him.” My degree made my heart cold to Holy Spirit and made me hot headed in knowledge. My church Job made me feel as if I had it all figured out and “I made it”. My relationship made me feel safe and feel like “a real man”. At the age of 23, I felt as though all my worldly ambitions I set before myself at the age of 15 had been achieved but it was also the year that my world began to fall apart.

May 25th was supposed to be my wedding date. I was so excited to finally marry the first woman I ever loved. A week before on May 18th I called off our wedding. I was devasted, inconsolable and heart broken. I had suicidal thoughts. I kept a pistol by my bedside at night and there were a few nights I contemplated using it. One day I was so fed up and I yelled at the Lord and asked Him, “What do you want me to do?” It was then that God put the small city of Redding California in my heart. I asked my best friend Kyle if he would take a trip with me to visit Bethel Church. Kyle without hesitation, dropped everything to come with me. I am forever thankful for Kyle’s friendship and how he supported me in this dark time and would describe it much like that of a David and Jonathan. When we were at Bethel, I experienced more healing than I can fully explain and it was the love of the Father that surrounded me and wiped away every tear. God spoke to me, redeemed me and called me “Son” and has continued to speak “sonship” over me. He has not only been teaching me that I am His but also that I am a son of the living God and there is nothing that can stop His love from chasing me down until I am found in His loving arms.

I wouldn’t change a thing that has happened. I lost everything but I gained Jesus. Life doesn’t always work out how we script it and the beauty of it is that we have a beautiful Father who has already written the story. No matter how hard your trial is, no matter how difficult your valley is, God is still on the throne and He is fighting for you! You may believe you are in the last chapter of your life but I tell you today, you truly are just in the middle of your story. Never let the pain of your memories keep you from the power of your dreams because your dreams will push you into your destiny and calling. Lean back and breathe because Jesus is at the right hand of the Father interceding on your behalf. You are severely loved by God.

How you can partner with me in this season!

I am currently attending Bethel’s school of Ministry. I get the amazing opportunity to travel to India for a mission trip. I currently need 1,865 dollars to be able to go. Would you pray and consider partnering with me financially and sowing not just into me but into the people of India? Here is a link if you would like to (All donations are tax deductible – BSSM India Mission Trip

Thank you for reading and if you need prayer or someone to talk to about your Valley, please feel free to contact me!

3 thoughts on “Hope Through Heartbreak

  1. Dude! Thanks for the great words! So true to life, and touches on a lot of things I’ve been thinking about lately. I’m working on writing something similar to the topics you wrote about! Hoping for the best for you man!

    Like

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